Week 31 Review - Anxiety

Starting a new course is never easy, especially something that you have never experienced in any sort of way. However, I was hopeful that I can get through the course and eventually find my passion in life. As of right now, I am still wadding in the water streams of life and still scared about pharmacy and what it entails, both as a career and its intensive workload just to get a measly pay.

However, that wasn't really the main problem coming into the new course. Every morning, I don't feel like eating anything, and that is never a good thing so I force myself to eat something to have something in my stomach. The problem is that I either get an extremely bad stomach ache or I vomit. I will be seeing a doctor soon, and probably would need to do a urine and bowel sample (hopefully not, but it's most likely the case). I also feel extremely tired whenever I wake up, even though I slept enough hours, and both these factors are really frustrating for me to deal with. With these physical issues, comes mental issues. Not having a healthy body usually results in an unhealthy mind and I also started to have anxiety and perhaps "depression" (I don't really like to regard myself as being depressed), but perhaps my body is unconsciously stressed out, even though I personally don't feel like I am.

As a person, I really felt I have fallen. In my first year of university, I was energetic, eager to learn and had fun in university, but after the first year, I became to go down a slope to become less of a person - I felt tired more easily; I didn't like going to university; I had low self-esteem - it was really a struggle for me since it also meant that I didn't care anymore and I didn't try my hardest. Even as of now, I still have an extremely slow self-esteem and that's probably why I wasn't too open to becoming friends with new people. But negativity is never a good thing and I hope this is just a slump in my life.

(P.S. Sorry for a day late update. I was too tired to write something yesterday since I had class and I wanted to start writing my report.)