Week 17 Review - Lack of Drive

Recently I stopped playing as much games because I started getting frustrated over losses. An example is me stopping Overwatch for the rest of the day if I lose a match. Even Hearthstone is boring, but Hearthstone is more of a game that I go on once in a while, rather than 24/7. This is applicable to a lot of my other ventures. I recently got back into coding because my dad advised me to do so, and I agree, but the problem is that I can't see an end result and this gives me no motivation. However, I will be entering a course where I can actively see the end result of my coding, and I believe this will help me a lot, in terms of finding the drive to do something. 

I guess my lack of drive also affects my mood, my body, and so on. My slouching is making my back ache frequently, and I get pissed off easily now. I have a lack of self-esteem, so much so that I have never been so demotivated ever in my life. Maybe it's my lack of self-accomplishment - I see people around me achieving great things, but I cannot. I feel lost, I struggle to find my path, and this just keep repeating. I don't know what to do honestly. The game I recently played, Doki Doki Literature Club had characters who had similar qualities to me, and this was refreshing to see that there are other people like me, no matter whether they are real or fake.