Week 35 - Fatigued

The pre-ordered item for Saekano finally arrived, and I was kinda disappointed on what I got, but then again, the deal seemed too good to be true. I expected the fanbook to be much bigger and more illustrations, but there were barely any illustration, and most of it is just a TV script (essentially a bunch of Japanese that I can't read :'(). I haven't opened the Nendoroid in it, and I may never since I kinda lost the passion of figures now. I kinda regret buying some of the anime figures, maybe because I am losing passion in things I enjoyed doing. Maybe it's a sign of depression.

I don't feel like I'm actively depressed, but perhaps I am unconsciously depressed. Every morning, I feel extremely tired and I feel like I'm fatigued, no matter how much sleep I get. I will probably be making an appointment with a doctor to talk about these symptoms, and whether it's the cause of my thyroid or something that I am not aware of. I guess the good thing this week is that I didn't really have any severe suicidal thoughts - sure I had thoughts of worthlessness, but I didn't have too much negative thoughts. Don't know why to be honest - maybe because I am talking more walks to clear my head?

Anyway, I will probably be releasing a Nendoroid review of Darkness from Konosuba, and perhaps a review of some keychains that I got from an artist. But it's really hard to concentrate nowadays. It's very frustrating for me because I was not who I used to be. I used to be extremely concentrated, and that's why I never really have any negative thoughts during my high school years. But after the first year of uni, my mental and physical health seemed to have plummeted. I don't know why to be honest, and I hope I can break these shackles off of me.